Seasoned Like the National Debt Apron
Seasoned Like the National Debt Apron
Seasoned Like the National Debt Apron
Seasoned Like the National Debt Apron

Seasoned Like the National Debt Apron

🇺🇸 Seasoned Like the National Debt Apron Product Description:For the home cook who brings the same energy to the kitchen as Congress brings to fiscal...
$32.33
$32.33
Size: One size
Color: Black
Subtotal: $32.33
Description
Description
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🇺🇸 Seasoned Like the National Debt Apron

Product Description:
For the home cook who brings the same energy to the kitchen as Congress brings to fiscal policy: chaos, overcommitment, and a complete lack of restraint. The Seasoned Like the National Debt apron is here to protect your outfit while you deep-fry freedom, sauté generational trauma, and flambé the last threads of hope.

Featuring a feast of Americana — bacon, burgers, baseballs, and bad decisions — this apron screams red, white, and WTF. Whether you're grilling hot dogs or melting down over late-stage capitalism, at least you'll look iconic doing it.

Features:

  • 🍔 Material: Durable 100% polyester canvas, built to survive emotional and economic collapse

  • 🧢 One size fits most: 31.5" x 25.6" — big enough to cover up your political opinions

  • 🍟 Tie-back closure so your dignity doesn’t slip off mid-bbq

  • 🥓 Comes with black, white, beige, blue, or pink strap options for bipartisan chaos

  • 🏛️ Sewn-in care label, because unlike the country, this does come with instructions

  • 🍦 Assembled in the USA from globally sourced parts — just like the American Dream™

 

Perfect for 4th of July parties, passive-aggressive family cookouts, or just stress-baking through another news cycle

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