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"Behold, I'm Awakening" Hardcover Manifestation JournalMake your everyday journaling more personal, private, and stylish with this matte hardcover journal. Available in 5.75"x8", with 150 lined pages, these sturdy hardcover journals are fully customizable on the front and on the back covers. The matte laminate coating on the cover will...
- $14.80
- $14.80
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"Charging My Crystals & My Restraining Order" – Trendy Eco-Friendly Carryall - NaturalFor the spiritually unhinged and legally entangled. Some days, you're manifesting abundance. Other days, you're manifesting bail money. Why not do both—stylishly? Crafted from heavy-duty 100% cotton canvas, this tote is your go-to sidekick for full moon rituals, late-night breakdowns, grocery runs, or court...
- $15.37
- $15.37
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"Iced Coffee is (Still) Cheaper Than Lawyer Fees" Tumbler – Stay Hydrated, Stay Out of PrisonBecause violence is frowned upon, and lawyer retainers are absurdly expensive. This tumbler is for the chronically unhinged, the rage-repressed professionals, and the ones who sip their iced coffee while mentally drafting their own defense statement. Whether it's Karen at work, Chad in accounting,...
- $36.22
- $36.22
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'Representative Democracy, They Said' Black Coffee Mug - 11oz & 15ozAh, yes. The illusion of choice. The theater of ballots. The sacred ritual of pressing a button, only to watch the same play with slightly different actors. If you’ve ever stared into the abyss of modern governance and thought, this feels like a group...
- $11.62
- $11.62
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1980s Plastic Tumbler with Straw - TransparentPastel Profits & VHS Dreams – 1980s Tumbler Sip like it’s 1986. This retro-futuristic tumbler brings back the golden glow of booming GDPs, Reaganomics, and neon-lit optimism—back when your Walkman had batteries, the stock market had swagger, and your future came in pastel. Whether...
- $12.38
- $12.38
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Transparent
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20oz Tumbler for the Unhinged Girly Pop - Perfect for the Caffeine AddictFor the girlboss teetering on the edge of a contempt charge, the courtroom menace who’s one passive-aggressive “per my last email” away from an orange jumpsuit and a court-mandated breathing exercise app—this tumbler is your final line of defense.Designed for the caffeine-fueled, rage-restrained icon...
- $36.22
- $36.22
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4th of July Day CelebrationsTumbler 20ozThis tumbler is an excellent choice for daily use to keep 20oz of your favorite beverages hot or cold thanks to the double-wall insulation. Meanwhile, the stainless steel construction provides excellent durability and it's dishwasher safe for added convenience..: Materials: stainless steel (body), plastic...
- $25.95
- $25.95
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Absurdist Organic Cotton Tote Bag - BlackFor those of us who’ve looked around, shrugged at the chaos, and decided to carry it all with a smirk — meet your new favorite existential sidekick: the "Absurdist" tote. Whether you're hauling emotional baggage, overpriced oat milk, or the weight of late-stage capitalism,...
- $18.28
- $18.28
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Black
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Adulthood and Capitalism Got Me Fucked Up Foam Yoga MatLightweight foam yoga mats for who have been scammed by the deceitful promise of adulthood and have to allocate a portion of their paycheck to keep their nervous system from spontaneously combusting. .: One size: 24″ x 72" (61cm x 183 cm).: 0.25" (0.65cm)...
- $61.90
- $61.90
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Adulthood and Capitalism Got Me Fucked Up Foam Yoga MatLightweight foam yoga mats for who have been scammed by the deceitful promise of adulthood and have to allocate a portion of their paycheck to keep their nervous system from spontaneously combusting. .: One size: 24″ x 72" (61cm x 183 cm).: 0.25" (0.65cm)...
- $61.90
- $61.90
- Unit price
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Adulthood and Capitalism Got Me Fucked Up Foam Yoga MatLightweight foam yoga mats for who have been scammed by the deceitful promise of adulthood and have to allocate a portion of their paycheck to keep their nervous system from spontaneously combusting. .: One size: 24″ x 72" (61cm x 183 cm).: 0.25" (0.65cm)...
- $61.90
- $61.90
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Adulthood is a Scam Apron (AOP) - BlackLet the home cook shine in the kitchen with a touch of character, the personalized chef's apron. This apron comes with a tie-back closure to fit securely, a sewn-in care label for guesswork-free maintenance, and a highly durable 100% polyester canvas construction for top-tier...
- $32.33
- $32.33
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Black
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Adulthood is a Scam Apron (AOP) - BlackLet the home cook shine in the kitchen with a touch of character, the personalized chef's apron. This apron comes with a tie-back closure to fit securely, a sewn-in care label for guesswork-free maintenance, and a highly durable 100% polyester canvas construction for top-tier...
- $32.33
- $32.33
- Unit price
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Black
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Adulthood is a Scam Apron (AOP) - BlackLet the home cook shine in the kitchen with a touch of character, the personalized chef's apron. This apron comes with a tie-back closure to fit securely, a sewn-in care label for guesswork-free maintenance, and a highly durable 100% polyester canvas construction for top-tier...
- $32.33
- $32.33
- Unit price
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Black
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Affectionist Organic Cotton Tote Bag - BlackMade with highly durable, 100% organic cotton canvas that is OCS-certified by Control Union CU811033, this tote bag looks as good as it feels using it. This bag features a 26.3" (66.8cm) long handle, a 2.6 gallon (10 liter) capacity and a wow factor...
- $18.28
- $18.28
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Black
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Alien Tumbler 20ozThis tumbler is an excellent choice for daily use to keep 20oz of your favorite beverages hot or cold thanks to the double-wall insulation. Meanwhile, the stainless steel construction provides excellent durability and it's dishwasher safe for added convenience..: Materials: stainless steel (body), plastic...
- $24.42
- $24.42
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All I want for christmas is for aliens to get me the fuck out of here Ceramic Mug, (11oz, 15oz)Warm-up with a nice cuppa out of this customized ceramic coffee mug. Personalize it with cool designs, photos or logos to make that "aaahhh!" moment even better. It’s BPA and Lead-free, microwave & dishwasher-safe, and made of white, durable ceramic in 11-ounce and 15-ounce...
- $7.68
- $7.68
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Allergic to Pisces Men Tote Bag - Stylish and Whimsical Design for Astrology Lovers - BlackIntroducing a stylish and versatile tote bag that combines functionality with trendsetting designs. This tote bag exudes a whimsical and playful vibe, perfect for those who embrace individuality. Whether you're heading to the farmers market, gym, or a coffee date, it seamlessly fits into...
- $18.48
- $18.48
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Anxious Like the Overactive Nucleus of a Dying Star Tote Bag - NaturalThis 100% cotton bag comes in one size – 15" x 16"– perfect for everyday wear. While the canvas material will show off your designs in great colors, it's durable and will last for years. The bag features 20" handles (made from the same...
- $12.32
- $12.32
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Natural
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Aporetic Organic Cotton Tote Bag - Black“Aporetic” – The Organic Cotton Tote for the Philosophically Perplexed An accessory for those who dwell comfortably in paradox, spiral eloquently, and question reality with style. The “Aporetic” tote is a wearable homage to intellectual impasse — for thinkers, dreamers, and over-analyzers who aren’t...
- $18.28
- $18.28
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Black
Try us- We're Cheaper Than Therapy!
Our merch encompasses all the nuances of today's dystopian reality through dark humor, wit that probe the abyss of today's human conditions. Crafted for maximal emotional release, laughter, and bonding through collective irreversible trauma.Sidebar
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