Existential Quotes is an adult gag gift store focused on cynicism and self disparaging prose. Our products are meant to be used for humorous purposes only. None of our material aims to discriminate, offend, or target any individual or organization. We do not condone the use of products to bully, ridicule, or hate any individual, entity, or organization.

Allergic to Pisces Men Canvas Tote Bag - Existential Quotes

spirituality and astrology junkies

Zodiac themed hate bags

For those who have had traumatic experience with a certain zodiac sign and who could use some validation and a support group.

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Watermelon Hotter Than Congress on Day of Judgment Stainless steel tumbler - Existential Quotes

for those fed up with congress

Hotter than congress on the day of judgment

If you find yourself more and more mesmerized by the depths to which congress can sink to, our fruity themed tumblers will surely help you express this while enjoying a good drink.

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Black Coffee Mug, 11oz - Existential Quotes

for those who are burnt out by work

Last nerve dry humped by your coworkers

Having to keep an upbeat demeanor while dealing with passive aggressive teams meetings and apprehension towards your email box is exhausting. Our mugs are here to make you feel validated and express your sentiment without getting you summoned by HR.

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Lofi Vaporwave Bedroom Large City Tote Bag Lined with Inside Pocket – Linen Like Fabric - Existential Quotes

Nostalgic 80s babies

Tote bags for vaporwave enthusiasts

Special collection dedicated to the nostalgic 80s babies reminiscing about a golden era of discography and cinematography long gone but never forgotten.

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Coquette chanel bag Slim Phone Cases - Existential Quotes

coquette girly pop

Merch to celebrate girliness

If you're an unapologetically girly girl, we got you. We have a whole collection of coquette merch dedicated just for your sublime self.

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Organic Cotton Tote Bag for the Nihilist - Existential Quotes

liberal arts majors

Carl Jung and the philosophies of existence

Browse through our special collection dedicated to those who are more academically inclined.

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Laptop Sleeve for the Nostalgic 90s Kid - Existential Quotes

90s babies

Retro merch for 90's kids

If you recall childhood mornings spent watching Cartoon Network, connecting with your friends on MSN and coming back home to watch Third Rock from the Sun during your adolescence, our retro pc collection is dedicated to you.

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Don't Talk to Me While I'm Handling a Knife Apron (AOP) - Existential Quotes

Adulthood is a scam

Adults that are fed up with adulting.

If you've achieved all the milestones of adulthood dictated by society but you find yourself feeling like a self-employed clown because all you feel is fed up, scammed, exhausted, and wishing you could've just stayed a child, this collection is perfect for you.

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Weekender Tote Bag for the Angsty - Existential Quotes

Gen Z

These costs of living ain't fit for the living

A whole collection dedicated to express solidarity with the hardships of being Gen Z.

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You're Blocked Everywhere Men’s Relaxed Fit Hoodie-Super Heavy 375g - Existential Quotes

calling out fakeness

Clapbacks during reunions and holidays

If you've had enough of biting your tongue at backhanded comments or having to fake friendships to not cause a scene during big gatherings, we created this merch to help you express your feelings.

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Shut up I'm Ascending Plastic Tumbler with Straw - Existential Quotes

manifestation and visualization

Speaking it into existence

For those in their delulu eras who are visualizing in 4K.

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money lovers

Focused on getting your coins

For those who feel that they've wasted their energy pursuing relationships instead of pursuing their one true love (issued by the federal reserve).

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Estoy Cansado de Tu Mierda Ceramic Mug, 11oz - Existential Quotes

seeking extraterrestrial asylum

Aliens need to come quick

If you're tired of this floating ghetto and are seeking a way to be beamed up by actual intelligent life, we got you. Starseeds unite!

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I'm the Only Child My Parents Can Afford Pet Tank Top - Existential Quotes

Kids are a luxury

Procreating is expensive

For those who don't have 500k saved to pay a decent existence for future offspring. Your pets still count!

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