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๐บ๐ธ โPumpkin pie tastes better under surveillanceโ โ 11oz Ceramic MugThis isnโt just an 11oz ceramic mug โ itโs a seminar in collapse studies disguised as drinkware. Durable white ceramic, glossy finish, ergonomic C-handle: the aesthetics of comfort mass-produced for a culture that hasnโt been comfortable in decades. The design is deliberate: Americana pin-up...
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๐บ๐ธ โRebellion Tastes Like Strawberries and Dial-Upโ Tote Bag |ใๅ้ใฎๅณใฏในใใญใใชใผใจใใคใคใซใขใใใใใผใใใใฐ - BlackA love story between nostalgia and resistance โ served with whipped cream and static noise. ๐๐ฟThe Rebellion Tastes Like Strawberries and Dial-Up Tote Bag captures that sweet ache of a past we never truly escaped โ when rebellion was soft, pink, and wired. Perfect...
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๐บ๐ธ โRewind to Osaka, 1982โ Weekender Bag ๐งใฆใฃใผใฏใจใณใใผใใใฐ ๐งStep into a pastel dream where cassette tapes still tangled in love songs, the skyline shimmered like a disco ball, and the last train home carried secrets whispered through neon haze. Rewind to Osaka, 1982 is a love letter to the forgotten future โ...
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๐บ๐ธ โSentient Program, Bufferingโ Tote Bag | ใใปใณใใฃใจใณใใปใใญใฐใฉใ ๏ผใใใใกใชใณใฐใใใผใใใใฐ - BlackFor the ones half-human, half-software โ still learning how to feel. ๐ช๐พThe Sentient Program, Buffering Tote Bag merges retro-futurist charm with everyday functionality. Designed for those navigating between reality and simulation, itโs perfect for beach escapes, creative commutes, or quiet rebellions at your local...
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๐บ๐ธ โSoft Reboot Required for Human Feelingsโ Weekender Bag ๐พไบบ้ใฎๆๆ ใๅ่ตทๅใๅฟ ่ฆใงใใใฆใฃใผใฏใจใณใใผใใใฐ ๐พBecause after years of late-stage capitalism, collapsing timelines, and chronic hypervigilance, emotional functionality is now a premium feature.This isnโt a bag โ itโs a system patch for souls running on caffeine, cynicism, and the faint hope of collective healing.Throw in your keys, your crisis,...
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๐บ๐ธ โThe Vibes Wonโt Fix Your Deadlineโ 13" Laptop Sleeve |ใใใคใในใงใฏ็ท ใๅใใฏๆใใชใใ13ใคใณใใปใฉใใใใใในใชใผใ - BlackYou can light your candle, open your notion tab, and play lo-fi beats for six hours straight โbut the deadline? Still undefeated. Designed for the chronic procrastinator masquerading as a โcreative perfectionist,โ this sleeve is your emotional support armor in the war between ambition...
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๐บ๐ธ โThis Latte Cost Me My Soul (Plus Tax)โ 11oz MugWelcome to Halloween in late-stage America โ where the real horror is the receipt.For the modern witch juggling rent, caffeine dependency, and existential dread, this mug is both spell and statement piece. Sip your overpriced iced potion and remember: the collapse still looks chic...
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๐บ๐ธ โThis latte costs like the collapse of the middle class.โ 20oz Stainless Steel TumblerA love letter to inflation, irony, and iced caffeine.Crafted for those who intellectualize their burnout and romanticize economic decline, this stainless steel tumbler keeps your drink as cold (or as hot) as your faith in capitalism. With a glossy finish and vacuum insulation, itโs...
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๐บ๐ธ โYouโve Got to Win, Bitchโ Journal โ Strawberry Crown Edition ๐บ๐ธNot your average notebook โ this oneโs for the dreamers with delusions of grandeur and caffeine addictions. The Crown Strawberry Shake Journal is where ambition meets aesthetic: a hardbound vault for chaotic genius, glittered thoughts, and late-night revenge plans disguised as poetry. Whether youโre...
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๐บ๐ธ โโMy dream butterfly escapedโโ Tote Bag | ใโๅคขใฎใใฟใใฉใคใ้ใใโใใใผใใใใฐ - BlackFor the ones who chase beauty even as it dissolves into code โ this tote captures the heartbreak of digital dreams and the tenderness of a fading memory. Wrapped in vaporwave lilac and pixel hearts, itโs nostalgia rendered in polyester โ fragile, glittering, and...
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๐บ๐ธ"Deadlines are my love language" 13" Laptop SleeveBecause nothing says romance like panic and caffeine. For those who confuse adrenaline with affection and call burnout โpassion,โ this laptop sleeve is your emotional support armor โ pink, chaotic, and painfully relatable. Wrapped in late-night delusion and rainbow despair, itโs the perfect reminder...
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๐บ๐ธ"Iced Nihilism with Notes of Almond"- 11oz Ceramic MugNot your average tasting profile. This latte is brewed with existential dread, sweetened with futility, and finished with a delicate almond aftertaste for the illusion of choice. Ideal for philosophy students, office drones, or anyone whoโs ever stared into the void and thought: โMaybe...
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๐บ๐ธ"It's Giving Pluto in Aquarius" -11oz Ceramic MugItโs Giving Pluto in AquariusFeaturing Marie Antoinette. Serving powdered delusion and pre-revolution panic. Some mugs hold coffee.This one holds omens. Pluto in Aquarius is not subtle. Systems fray like wigs in the rain, cycles donโt repeat โ they resurrect, half-mocking, half-monstrous. The air thickens...
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๐บ๐ธ"Mentally on Do Not Disturbโ Weekender Bag ๐ใฆใฃใผใฏใจใณใใผใใใฐ ๐For when your body is present, but your brain is buffering.This pastel-pixel Y2K tote is for the girls who answer texts three business days later โ if ever. Featuring vintage flip phones, sparkly keychains, and a bear who also needs therapy, this bag is...
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๐บ๐ธ"No optimization without representation" - 11oz Ceramic MugThis 11oz mug is less about coffee and more about critique โ a porcelain protest against the algorithmic empire. Durable white ceramic, shiny finish, and a comfortable C-handle make it practical; the imagery makes it prophecy. A cybernetic blonde in metallic pink, strawberries in...
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๐บ๐ธ"One Nation Under Chronic Fatigue"- 11oz Ceramic MugThis mug is a hymn for the overworked, the under-slept, the chronically fatigued human machines powering a system that rewards exhaustion withโฆ more exhaustion. Draped in pixelated flags, itโs equal parts satire and mirror: the American Dream served on ice, caffeine-dependent and mascara-smudged. Whether...
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๐บ๐ธ"Overpriced Almond Milk & State Surveillance"- 11oz Ceramic MugThis isnโt just a latte. Itโs a case study in paranoia โ overpriced almond milk foamed with McCarthyism and sprinkled with a dash of state surveillance. The flavor profile is equal parts absurd and accurate: sweet on the tongue, bitter in the aftertaste, and...
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๐บ๐ธ"She's beauty, she's grace, she's drowning in interest rates" - 11oz Ceramic MugSheโs beauty. Sheโs grace. Sheโs negotiating with compound interest like itโs a hostage situation. This mug isnโt just a vessel for caffeine โ itโs a dissertation on late capitalism disguised as pastel kitsch. Between the strawberry milkshake aesthetic and the crushing awareness of adjustable...
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๐บ๐ธ"Taxphobic" - 11oz Ceramic MugSome people fear spiders. Some fear the void. Others fear April 15th. This mug is dedicated to the taxphobic among us โ the human machines who know that wage labor is already theft, and that โfiling seasonโ is just another ritual humiliation dressed up...
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๐บ๐ธ"The American Dream tastes like instant coffee"- 11oz Ceramic MugA mug for the irony-poisoned, doomscrolling caffeine addict who knows that freedom was always a marketing campaign. At 11oz, itโs not just the standard measure for coffee โ itโs the precise volume of existential dread required to survive another morning inside the simulation. Durable...
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