/04_AMERICANA_MYTHICANA/
/04_AMERICANA_MYTHICANA/
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  • 🇺🇸 Socrates Walked So I Can Spiral — The Modern Prometheus Edition Tote Bag
    🇺🇸 Socrates Walked So I Can Spiral — The Modern Prometheus Edition Tote Bag - Black
    A gothic wink to the philosophers and romantics who overthink their way through the apocalypse.This tote reimagines a fragment from Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein — not as horror, but as humor, a modern resurrection of thought and irony.Here, philosophy meets morbidity in a latte-sipping séance...
    $25.00
    $25.00
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  • 🇺🇸 “This Latte Cost Me My Soul (Plus Tax)” 11oz Mug
    🇺🇸 “This Latte Cost Me My Soul (Plus Tax)” 11oz Mug
    Welcome to Halloween in late-stage America — where the real horror is the receipt.For the modern witch juggling rent, caffeine dependency, and existential dread, this mug is both spell and statement piece. Sip your overpriced iced potion and remember: the collapse still looks chic...
    $20.00
    $20.00
  • 🇺🇸🎃 “Trick or Treat? More Like Rent or Eat.” 11oz Ceramic Mug
    🇺🇸🎃 “Trick or Treat? More Like Rent or Eat.” 11oz Ceramic Mug
      Welcome to the Halloween special of late-stage existence — where witches drink cold brew instead of blood and capitalism is the real haunted house. This mug isn’t just a vessel for your caffeine; it’s a daily reminder that adulthood is mostly deciding whether...
    $20.00
    $20.00
  • 🇺🇸"Can't Wait for the Next Flood" -11oz Mug
    🇺🇸"Can't Wait for the Next Flood" -11oz Mug
    Because the world’s on fire, the seas are rising, and you still have to log into Zoom. Tired of pretending everything’s fine while billionaires build rockets and the rest of us Google “ark dimensions DIY”? This 11oz mug is your sarcastic survival gear—a daily...
    $20.00
    $20.00
  • 🇺🇸 “This latte costs like the collapse of the middle class.” 20oz Stainless Steel Tumbler
    🇺🇸 “This latte costs like the collapse of the middle class.” 20oz Stainless Steel Tumbler
    A love letter to inflation, irony, and iced caffeine.Crafted for those who intellectualize their burnout and romanticize economic decline, this stainless steel tumbler keeps your drink as cold (or as hot) as your faith in capitalism. With a glossy finish and vacuum insulation, it’s...
    $30.00
    $30.00
  • 🇺🇸"The American Dream tastes like instant coffee"- 11oz Ceramic Mug
    🇺🇸"The American Dream tastes like instant coffee"- 11oz Ceramic Mug
    A mug for the irony-poisoned, doomscrolling caffeine addict who knows that freedom was always a marketing campaign. At 11oz, it’s not just the standard measure for coffee — it’s the precise volume of existential dread required to survive another morning inside the simulation. Durable...
    $20.00
    $20.00
  • 🇺🇸Apron: Serving Recession Realness
    🇺🇸Apron: Serving Recession Realness - Black
    “Serving Recession Realness” Apron Welcome to the frontlines of late-stage capitalism, where you cook dinner like you're auditioning for The Hunger Games: Food Stamp Edition. Groceries cost more than rent, eggs are now a controlled substance, and your kid just asked if “inflation” is...
    $33.00
    $33.00
  • 🇺🇸“boot_life.exe” 11oz Mug — Debugging Existence
    🇺🇸“boot_life.exe” 11oz Mug — Debugging Existence
    ☕ “boot_life.exe” Mug — Debugging Existence 🇺🇸 Welcome to late-stage capitalism: where your nervous system is fried, your rent is due, and your soil is as demineralized as your soul. This mug reads like a system crash log for humanity: affordability.sys not found, taxes.dll...
    $20.00
    $20.00
  • 🇺🇸Made with Burnout, Debt, and Government Distrust Apron
    🇺🇸Made with Burnout, Debt, and Government Distrust Apron - Black
    🍰 Made with Burnout, Debt, and Government Distrust Apron Because late-stage capitalism doesn’t season itself. This isn’t just an apron. It’s a full-body cry for help disguised as kitchen couture. Whether you’re rage-baking at 2am, feeding friends out of trauma-bonded obligation, or distracting yourself...
    $33.00
    $33.00
  • 🇺🇸 Seasoned Like the National Debt Apron
    🇺🇸 Seasoned Like the National Debt Apron - Black
    🇺🇸 Seasoned Like the National Debt Apron Product Description:For the home cook who brings the same energy to the kitchen as Congress brings to fiscal policy: chaos, overcommitment, and a complete lack of restraint. The Seasoned Like the National Debt apron is here to...
    $33.00
    $33.00
  • 🇺🇸 Fueled by Caffeine, Chaos, and Late-Stage Capitalism Apron
    🇺🇸 Fueled by Caffeine, Chaos, and Late-Stage Capitalism Apron - Black
     Fueled by Caffeine, Chaos, and Late-Stage Capitalism You’re not just running errands, baking cookies, or answering emails — you’re surviving the collapse of modern civilization with nothing but caffeine, brute force, and delusion. This piece isn’t just apparel or drinkware — it’s a lifestyle...
    $33.00
    $33.00
  • 🇺🇸It’s Giving 1984 –11oz Ceramic Black Mug
    🇺🇸It’s Giving 1984 –11oz Ceramic Black Mug
    It’s Giving 1984 – Black Mug When you wake up in a surveillance state disguised as a democracy, the least you deserve is a hot beverage in a mug that gets it. Say hello to the only mug that understands just how Orwellian your...
    $20.00
    $20.00
  • 🇺🇸"The Economy Runs on My Burnout"- 11oz Ceramic Mug
    🇺🇸"The Economy Runs on My Burnout"- 11oz Ceramic Mug
    Every empire needs fuel. Rome had slaves. The Industrial Revolution had coal. Late capitalism? It runs on your unpaid overtime, iced lattes, and the faint hum of collective exhaustion. This mug is the perfect companion for those who know that “self-care” is just another...
    $20.00
    $20.00
  • 🇺🇸"She's beauty, she's grace, she's drowning in interest rates" - 11oz Ceramic Mug
    🇺🇸"She's beauty, she's grace, she's drowning in interest rates" - 11oz Ceramic Mug
    She’s beauty. She’s grace. She’s negotiating with compound interest like it’s a hostage situation. This mug isn’t just a vessel for caffeine — it’s a dissertation on late capitalism disguised as pastel kitsch. Between the strawberry milkshake aesthetic and the crushing awareness of adjustable...
    $20.00
    $20.00
  • 🇺🇸 “Pumpkin pie tastes better under surveillance” – 11oz Ceramic Mug
    🇺🇸 “Pumpkin pie tastes better under surveillance” – 11oz Ceramic Mug
    This isn’t just an 11oz ceramic mug — it’s a seminar in collapse studies disguised as drinkware. Durable white ceramic, glossy finish, ergonomic C-handle: the aesthetics of comfort mass-produced for a culture that hasn’t been comfortable in decades. The design is deliberate: Americana pin-up...
    $20.00
    $20.00
  • 🇺🇸 “No Taxation Without Optimization” 20oz Tumbler
    🇺🇸 “No Taxation Without Optimization” 20oz Tumbler
    A patriotic fever dream for the post-capitalist age.This stainless steel tumbler blends Americana nostalgia with cybernetic irony — perfect for those who sip iced lattes while questioning the fiscal ethics of late-stage capitalism. Featuring double-wall insulation to keep your drink hot or cold, it’s...
    $33.13
    $33.13
  • 🇺🇸 "This latte tastes like inflation, fluoride poisoning, and wage slavery"- 11oz Ceramic Mug
    🇺🇸 "This latte tastes like inflation, fluoride poisoning, and wage slavery"- 11oz Ceramic Mug
    This isn’t a mug. It’s a prophecy in 11oz of ceramic despair. Durable white clay, shiny finish, comfortable C-handle — all the hallmarks of stability, in a culture where nothing else is. Lead- and BPA-free, but don’t worry — you’ll still get your daily...
    $20.00
    $20.00
  • 🇺🇸 11oz Ceramic Mug | Congressional Subpoena in Hell Edition
    🇺🇸 11oz Ceramic Mug | Congressional Subpoena in Hell Edition
    Hotter than a latte fresh off the subpoena printer. This mug is a love letter to democratic dysfunction, wrapped in holographic kitsch and strawberry milkshake energy. Perfect for mornings when caffeine feels less like a beverage and more like testimony under oath. Product Features:...
    $20.00
    $20.00
  • 🇺🇸 11oz Ceramic Mug | “I Only Resonate in 528 Hz” Edition
    🇺🇸 11oz Ceramic Mug | “I Only Resonate in 528 Hz” Edition
    Not a vessel. A sigil.This mug is attuned to the mythic frequency of 528 Hz — the so-called vibration of love, creation, and repair — whispered of in esoteric circles and conspiracy-laden forums alike. Between cosmic static and corporate collapse, it hums as an...
    $15.00
    $15.00
  • 🇺🇸 boot_nervous_system – 11oz Ceramic Mug
    🇺🇸 boot_nervous_system – 11oz Ceramic Mug
      Because nothing screams late-stage capitalism like waking up to an error code instead of inner peace. This glossy black ceramic mug captures the collective burnout of a generation running on cortisol and iced coffee while healthcare, housing, and stability remain “not found.” A...
    $20.00
    $20.00